The five action steps for communicating with someone who may be suicidal (Ask, Keep them Safe, Be There, Help Them Connect, Follow-up) are supported by evidence in the field of suicide prevention.
Suicide is the tenth most common cause of death in the United States. People may consider it when they are hopeless and cannot see any other solution to their problems. Often it is related to serious depression, alcohol or substance abuse, or a major stressful event.
Ask
By asking “Are you thinking about suicide?”, you communicate that you are open to speaking about it in a non-judgmental and supportive way. Asking in this direct, unbiased manner, can open the door for effective dialogue about their emotional pain. This can help everyone involved see what next steps need to be taken.
Other questions you can ask include, “How are you hurting?” and “How can I help you?” Never promise to keep their thoughts of suicide a secret.
After the “Ask” step is taken, you must “Listen.” Make sure you take their answers seriously and do not ignore them, especially if they indicate they are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Listening to their reasons for being in such emotional pain, as well as listening for any potential reasons they want to continue to stay alive, are both incredibly important while they are telling you what is going on.
Help them focus on their reasons for living and avoid trying to impose your reasons for them to stay alive.
Studies show that asking at-risk individuals if they are suicidal does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts. In fact, studies suggest the opposite: findings suggest acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce rather than increase suicidal ideation.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
1-800-273-8255